WarioWare Inc., Touched

WarioWare Inc., Touched Description

If you're sitting there reading this, wondering what it might be like to play WarioWare Inc., Touched! (to give its full title) that's hardly a surprise. Looking at the crude images accompanying the game, you could be forgiven for thinking someone, somewhere, is trying to pull a fast one. Perhaps the best way we can help you with WarioWare involves some investment on your part. You'll need some shoes, along with the usual 'leaving the house' garb, about one English pound and be able to locate a newsagent. Upon entering the establishment, cast your eyes downwards and somewhere in front of the suspicious pornography you'll find something you not have seen for a long time. Cheat sweets. With kids today eating Internet chocolate and Sega crisps, the pre-pubescent masses have somehow overlooked the joys of sweets manufactured from cow fat, sugar and colouring extracted from crushed invertebrates. Spend your pound on a bag of these and you're almost done. Upon returning home you need to eat every scrap of your bounty as quickly as possible. Disregard the 'soft sweets first, hard sweets last' rule and just shovel them in, chew them up and wait. In around ten minutes, the effects of your own personal WarioWare Touched! demo will begin with mild nausea. Fear not however, this nausea will escalate, with Sunset Yellow (E110) generating a hyperactivity resulting in mild psychosis. Then it's time to begin to spin. The experienced spinner will use a broom handle, with their forehead resting on one end, the other on the floor. The novice can simply revolve freestyle. Start to spin and you'll feel it happening. The sugar and fat - boosted by the E110 - will combine, and as your inner ear revolves in an increasingly disenfranchised state, you'll achieve it, you'll know when it happens. Projectile vomit and complete mental disarray and at this point you will understand what WarioWare Inc., Touched! truly represents. Good old-fashioned fun. The premise is simple. Use the touch screen of the DS, the unit's built in microphone and the buttons to control the hundreds of micro-games, each lasting merely a few seconds. Striking matches, pulling toilet paper, they're all here in glorious 2D. WarioWare harks back to a long forgotten era of accessible simple ingenious gaming fun. As the market for touch-driven minigames expands, ensure that you're not tricked into buying anything else. This is a perfect example of the reason the DS was created.